CULTURE THROUGH NANDINI'S EYES (Pt 1)

Pieoneers had a chance to engage in a captivating interview with philanthropist and social activist Nandini Kochar. She is the founder of Ray Of Hope Botswana.

"Ray Of Hope Botswana was established in 2015 as a grassroots youth-run organisation with the pure purpose of educating and empowering underprivileged children and women in rural areas. Our team of committed high school and college volunteers have been running weekly educational programs for over 50 children at Gamodubu Village, including HIV/AIDs patients, rape survivors and orphans. 

We recently started a woman empowerment social enterprise called, Hope for Her, wherein we tap into traditional artistry of rural Batswana women and sell handmade eco-friendly jewelry by them, ploughing back the raised funds into their community. Ray of Hope also has a branch in the UK, educating and empowering marginalized and financially deprived communities through tutoring and self defense classes." - Nandini Kochar

Nandini #Pieoneer

You grew up in Botswana, were you born here?

I was born in India and my family moved here when I was 1 and half other than that I have lived here my whole life.

Why did you think your family moved here?

My dad was in the Indian Army. You know when you are in the Army you don’t really get to be with your family, always travelling. So when I was born he wanted a more balanced stable life. That’s more from the personal side.

From a psychological standpoint, I guess he wanted better economic opportunities because we always have this idea that the grass is greener on the other side. You know how people in Botswana are eager to go the states (chuckles) it’s the reverse for people in India because they feel they will have more opportunities outside.

Do you ever think if you grew up in India you would have retained and adopted more of the culture?

I think it’s interesting cause I feel Indians hold on to their culture outside of India. You see people in India so eager to be Western. I buy more Indian clothes, they are like ‘why should I?’ cause I want to hold on to my culture. And they are like why should I have to wear cultural clothes when I wanna wear Western clothes. They watch more Hollywood films more than I do. They will want to speak English instead of their mother language. But I have been brought up to learn more of my mother tongue because I’m far away from home. So in terms of holding on to my culture I have held on to it more being outside. By virtue of living outside of where you are from because of the colour of your skin, inevitably you almost like ambassadors of where you come from. You meet people and ask you where you and how is it back home? What’s it like there? So you take pride in where you from.

In terms of culture aspect I think I’m much in tuned to it. But when I go visit India I’ve never felt like “oh I wish I lived here.” I love Botswana. As much as my cultural identity is made up of Indian culture, in terms of my personal identity, social identity, what I believe in, my values a lot of that has come from being brought up in Botswana.

Do you speak a bit of Setswana?

Unfortunately I don’t. But I really want to work on it. I think the really sad part that most people including Batswana are not speaking Setswana especially on this generation is because in school there is no emphasis on it. In private school it’s always the option French or Setswana. It seems everyone is leaning more towards French because somehow that could be more useful in the future. But I don’t see why when you have lived in a country your whole life why that learning that language is not useful. So now when I have grown up and I’m going into villages and try work with people I realise there is such a big language barrier that no matter how much you feel connected to a group people until you don’t speak their language you will never break that one thread of barrier. So I feel that it should be compulsory for a couple of years to teach in private school.

You mentioned something interesting that, when you are from outside you appreciate your culture more. Why is that people appreciate their culture more when they are outside as compared to those who live the culture? Is it an ‘outside looking in’ type of situation?

I think it’s a psychological thing; you always think the other side is better and has more to offer than what you have right now. But I also think that a lot of it especially in Africa and Asian countries is that old mentality of colonization. It keeps drilling in when you constantly have this idea that we not good enough, that our countries don’t have enough resources that in order for us to make it big you have to go outside cause that’s where the opportunities lie. So right now a lot of people are ready to leave their countries in pursuit of personal success, no one thinks of what they can do if they stay in their country and make their own opportunities.

It’s an outside looking situation, where things look promising and easier from a distance. We hear of stories where women get abused in relationships and someone from the outside asks why can’t she just up and leave. Do you think it’s the same type of mentality?

I think that’s a very valid point, cause with so much atrocities, abusive relationships and even poverty, people tend to get stuck in the cycle. Similarly with domestic violence, when you look at it from the periphery, you looking at it objectively. Your thoughts are that this woman should leave. But that all sounds good on paper and that's how I believe the world should be. Actually inside, looking from a much more subjective perspective, she may think ‘right now I’m not financially independent, if I leave this man where am I going to go. My parents will not take me back, I have child and what’s their future like.” all these things start playing in a woman or mans mind and it’s much more complex and intricate than we think. BUT absolutely I do think if are a victim of domestic violence you should leave. We should understand that within that there is so many elements we can’t just generalize and make it seem like its black and white.

Growing up in Botswana, you went to Maruapula right?  How was the cultural diversity there?

Maruapula is a very diverse school, not only in terms of ethnicity but also in culture and socio-economic background. You have children from privileged backgrounds and you have those on scholarship. You are in a place where regardless of where you come from, you come into an environment where everybody gets treated equally and have a chance to voice themselves. Honestly I love my school; it really helped especially when I went to University into an even more diverse environment.

Which University you go to?

New York University Abu Dhabi

Maruapula is like a microcosm of varsity...

Yesss! absolutely and the university becomes a further microcosm of what the world is becoming today (giggles)

You come off as a very well read and spoken. Where do you think you get your wits from? Do you believe it was predestined or it was your environment? Nurture v Nature?

As much as I am a big believer in destiny, I also genuinely think when you talk about things like; intelligence, capability and talent, there may be a small element that may be innate. But when it comes to things of who you become it’s a collective process that really never ends. Who I am today is not who I’m gonna be in a week. That in itself is testimony to the fact that it’s not something that was in destiny its how I am evolving as a person every day; the conversations, people I met and experiences I have.

You feel the way you think would be different had you been raised in a different environment under different circumstances?

Absolutely. Having said that though a lot of who I am is what I see around me. Whatever you see gives you stimuli. Like you see poverty and that affects you, then you go on and do social work. Alternatively you could be in a patriarchal society where you don’t think women’s being submissive is a wrong thing cause that’s what you grown up seeing.  That becomes how you perceive the world. Being brought in a Botswana, I know there is the traditional aspect but at least for a contemporary Botswana it’s a very open minded and liberal society to grow up in. At least from the schools that I was able to go to, I guess it really just depends.

Depends on the setting, for a private school yes but generally we are not an open minded society as compared to other countries. In a traditional setup certain behaviors are totally unacceptable. It’s a touchy subject but let’s take an example of homosexuality is a huge deal. Some still address it as witchcraft and seen as decay in the moral fiber of society.

I agree with you it really depends on the environment you brought up in within the larger environment. Having said that though, it is this idea that we always think that where we come from is less progressive than the rest of the world. I think it depends on where we are looking. What media constantly portrays are these pride marches, where they march for LGBT, on media, twitter, instagram we will be bombarded with all this images. And we think look at how the world is progressing and look at how far we are. But that’s just a handful of five or six countries out of a hundred ninety countries in the world.

In as much as people may feel we are not open minded or progressive about homosexuality for example, does that mean we should accept it in the name “progress” for the sake of being open minded?

Absolutely not.

Even if there is resistance to homosexuality it’s still fine?

I m definitely pro-LGBT I want to establish that. I feel they should be allowed to display their public affection and do whatever they want. It’s a relatively new unfamiliar concept, I agree that it’s been there for ages but its always been this taboo, stigma, hush-hush thing nobody wants to openly talk about it. For the first time in the 21^st century people started to voice out these issues through media, politics and policy. In order for anything; be it feminism or black empowerment, revolution entails resistance. You can never bring about change without resistance. I think it’s wrong for someone to blame it on witchcraft but we need to understand where they are coming from. They were brought up in a culture that never saw this as a norm. We need to realize its wrong and approach it with empathy. Like guys would be like ‘what’s with this whole feminist thing?’ instead of getting angry I’m like ‘pause’ maybe they don’t understand cause no one ever talked to them about it. Let’s not fight! Let’s talk. It’s important for any movement be it LGBT, we shouldn’t come out in rage we should come in empathy. People need to understand we are not trying to push them down to establish ourselves, rather we come out saying, ‘this is who I am, how I feel, my gender, if you don’t understand let’s talk about it.’ I know it’s not easy

TO BE CONTINUED...
To volunteer or for more information on Ray of Hope visit: https://www.facebook.com/rayofhopeprojectsbots/